Moment of Clarity:

 

Thanks Matty....

Still on that tip..

Just be yourself…

Don’t ever forget your roots girls…

 

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.....

Animals are crazy

Pelicans are really cool animals when you take a second to think about it.  Look up pelican videos on youtube I bet you’ll think they’re tight too.

 

GULP. This boy swallows FOR SURE!

Le Sigh

Sitting in bed with my friend Clay, he just got his wisdom teeth out so we’re hanging out watching Drugstore Cowboy, once again disappointed by Gus Van Sant.  Once again drooling over a young Matt Dillon…

 

Rumblefish QT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m a pedophile.

Redemption

I tried really hard to like Lady Sovereign when she first blew up.  But it was hard to like her when M.I.A. was coming up at the same time.  Also she just kind of bugged me and was like a British version of Avril Lavigne, and Avril Lavigne was just prettier so I could tolerate her.  Anyways…

I just found this video and thought it was new but then someone told me it wasn’t but I just discovered it so I want to share it with you it’s….kind of really tight, at least for me.  Like I always say “If a music video has dancing in it then I think it’s a good music video.”  I KNOW I KNOW, she’s jocking Baseball Fury from  The Warriors.  And I KNOW Missy jocked them a couple videos back so technically Sov is copying Missy but anyways…just watch.  The song is also hot too.  Hope you lykke it.

 

 

ALSO:  

MAURICE SENDAK UP IN THIS BETCH WIT SPIKE JONZE YEEEEUH BOI.

This is my future pt.2

Last week you got to meet my paternal grandmother, the bepearled bitch with serious delusions of grandeur.  Well I thought it only fair to also introduce you to my mom’s mom, the perma-drunk lunch lady from Tampa Florida.

-Corey

RIOTTTTTTT

So I had a midterm today, and I spent the entire weekend stressing-the-fuck-out about it.  So much so that I actually peppered my procrastination with some occasionally studying.  In fact! I was even responsible enough to abstain from a weekend trip down to LA with my roommates (shocking, I know).

But when I sat down to take the test today and read the essay questions; all the Red Bull & Sun Chips & Adderall  & pant-shitting seemed worth it.  The test looked really easy.  I took a deep breath, pulled out my blue book and started writing my name.  Too bad I was only able to write “Corey Jac” before the building’s fire alarm started going off, and we were forced to evacuate.

So as an auditorium full of annoyed, sleep deprived students poured out onto the patio, all hell broke loose.  I’m not kidding, I think my freshman-year roommate killed a guy.  It was exactly like the riot at Saturday’s America’s Next Top Model casting:

Ok not really.  But there was a lot of chaos and confusion.  Since my professor only sent one GSI to administer an exam to like 80 students, it was near impossible for this poor woman to prevent some people from cheating.  Which they obviously were.  People were talking to each other, consulting their notes for answers, and even looking shit up on their cell phones (I’m looking at you “Guy in the gray sweater with an iPhone”).   The test was becoming so clearly unfair that a lot of us were growing really agitated.

Eventually she decided to postpone the midterm, but I just realized that I’ve no idea when the new test was rescheduled for.  Or even if it’ll be a new test.  If it is, will it be harder now that we’ve seen the original?  Akkk!

Whatever, I’m gonna go get soused.

-Corey

“Politicians are like diapers, they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.”

Our non-Berkeley readers may want to skip this post.

Despite what my history might imply, I tend to ignore the happenings of student government here at Berkeley (my tenure as a senator imbued me with many things, the least of which was confidence in the ASUC).  In my experience, the politics of politics emboldens the misinformed and confounds the well-intentioned.  As an organization, the ASUC wields incredible amounts of power, but I’ve too often seen that power squandered by petty rivalries (which by all accounts are completely arbitrary).  Basically, I’d rather remove my spleen with a spoon than indulge the whimsies of the megalomaniacs that populate the ASUC.

Yet, in complete defiance of my predispositions, I feel compelled to offer my support to the newly released Student Action executive slate.  Straight up, these folks are the shit.  My personal and professional histories with these candidates make me certain of their excellence.  I truly believe that if any student leaders are capable of turning the tide of hypocrisy and self-exception that plagues the ASUC it’s Will, Tu, Dani, and John.

I apologize for the snark-break (more boozy humor to come, I promise!) but I really believe that the current economic climate necessitates an earnest evaluation of the system and those at its helm.  As students we’re investors in the ASUC, and amidst huge budget cuts and declining student life, every penny of our investment should be spent wisely.  We don’t have the time or money for partisanship, the ASUC should dispatch its resources through well-reasoned policies that truly represent student voices.  The assholes in charge must understand the meaning of effective student representation.

Despite my cynicism about campus politics, I stand resolute in my support for this slate because I know that these four students understand the gravity of this moment and they can (and will) bring smart government to the ASUC.  These are the assholes I want in charge.

Now back to funny shit:

-Corey

Moment of Clarity

Whyyyyy is Nicole Sherzinger pretending to be Indian.  I’m so scared.

 

GLOBAL DOLL DOMINATION

 

 

 

 

 

CLICK FOR THE “JAI HO” MUSIC VIDEO AND SOME SERIOUS AMAZINGNESS