Remember me? Name’s Corey, I used to write here. Anyways, after a brief hiatus I’m back!
As evidenced by a great number of the posts here on Katie & Corey, we’re BIG fans of procrastination. I can easily turn a two-hour homework assignment into an all day event. I mean why write about the systematic nomenclature of organic chemistry (no joke, I actually just had to tried to deconstruct an article of the same name) when you can eat cheese-its and watch Real Housewives of Atlanta? One of my all time favorite procrastination methods involves Craigslist, gay sex, and Guess Who logic.
Did you know that besides finding jobs, iPods, and microwave ovens on Craigslist, you can also find anonymous gay sex?! That’s right, Craigslist has more guys willing to sing-a-song on your dong than the Folsom Street Fair. Though the idea of actually posting-then-meeting-then-fucking one of these dudes sends worse chills up my spine than Kim Kolziak’s weave, I LOVE narrowing down the search terms to only those ads posted in Berkeley and trying to guess the author’s identity.
My story after the jump! jump! jump!
If you’re gonna do this, you’ve gotta know that face pics are very rare. Most of the pictures show dudes waving their crooked, soft-focus schlongs at the camera. So if you wanna unearth the dick behind the dick you’ve gotta look for context clues. I look for CAL paraphernalia, articles of clothing I recognize, or rooms I’ve been in. But (!) when you do stumble across a face pic of someone you recognize it’s like finding a bottle of adderall attached to 1000 dollars and a unicorn: soooo amazing!
Sophomore year my friend had this insanely dicky roommate. He was unapologetically disgusting, a chronic liar, and I think he stole a sweater of mine. He was the worst! Towards the end of first semester I had this massive term paper that needed finishing but, as per usual, found myself browsing Berkeley’s horned-up homos. After a few giggles my interest began to wane and the weight of that paper returned to my conscience, so I decided to try one more and went for the most vulgar post title I could find. Then wham, like a chorus of angels welcoming me to the greatest moment of my life, I see that asshole’s disgusting face and (even more disgusting) dick plastered across my screen. I laughed for a solid 30 minutes, called about a hundred people, and considered making the post my facebook status (don’t worry I didn’t, I’m not THAT cruel).